If there be righteousness in the heart,
there will be beauty in the character.
If there be beauty in the character,
there will be harmony in the home.
If there be harmony in the home,
there will be order in the nation.
If there be order in the nation,
there will be peace in the world.
We believe in Marx Freud and Darwin.
We believe everything is OK
as long as you don’t hurt anyone,
to the best of your definition of hurt,
and to the best of your knowledge.
We believe in sex before during
and after marriage.
We believe in the therapy of sin.
We believe that adultery is fun.
We believe that sodomy’s OK
We believe that taboos are taboo.
We believe that everything’s getting better
despite evidence to the contrary.
The evidence must be investigated.
You can prove anything with evidence.
We believe there’s something in horoscopes,
UFO’s and bent spoons;
Jesus was a good man just like Buddha
Mohammed and ourselves.
He was a good moral teacher although we think
his good morals were bad.
We believe that all religions are basically the same,
at least the one that we read was.
They all believe in love and goodness.
They only differ on matters of
creation sin heaven hell God and salvation.
We believe that after death comes The Nothing
because when you ask the dead what happens
they say Nothing.
If death is not the end, if the dead have lied,
then it’s compulsory heaven for all
excepting perhaps Hitler, Stalin and Genghis Khan.
We believe in Masters and Johnson.
What’s selected is average.
What’s average is normal.
What’s normal is good.
We believe in total disarmament.
We believe there are direct links between
warfare and bloodshed.
Americans should beat their guns into tractors
and the Russians would be sure to follow.
We believe that man is essentially good.
It’s only his behaviour that lets him down.
This is the fault of society.
Society is the fault of conditions.
Conditions are the fault of society.
We believe that each man must find the truth
that is right for him.
Reality will adapt accordingly.
The universe will readjust. History will alter.
We believe that there is no absolute truth
excepting the truth that there is no absolute truth.
We believe in the rejection of creeds.
~ Steve Turner
If 99.9 percent is good enough, then…
Two million documents will be lost by the IRS this year.
811,000 faulty rolls of 35 mm film will be loaded this year.
22,000 checks will be deducted from the wrong bank accounts in the next 60 minutes.
1,314 phone calls will be misplaced by telecommunication services every minute.
12 babies will be given to the wrong parents each day.
268,500 defective tires will be shipped this year.
14,208 defective personal computers will be shipped this year.
103,260 income tax returns will be processed incorrectly this year.
2,488,200 books will be shipped in the next 12 months with the wrong cover.
5,517,200 cases of soft drinks produced in the next 12 months will be flatter than a bad tire.
Two plane landings daily at O’Hare International Airport in Chicago will be unsafe.
3,056 copies of tomorrow’s Wall Street Journal will be missing one of the three sections.
18,322 pieces of mail will be mishandled in the next hour.
291 pacemaker operations will be performed incorrectly this year.
880,000 credit cards in circulation will turn out to have incorrect cardholder information on their magnetic strips.
$9,690 will be spent today, tomorrow, next Thursday, and every day in the future on defective, often unsafe sporting equipment.
55 malfunctioning automatic teller machines will be installed in the next 12 months.
20,000 incorrect drug prescriptions will be written in the next 12 months.
114,500 mismatched pairs of shoes will be shipped this year.
$761,900 will be spent in the next 12 months on tapes and compact discs that won’t play.
107 incorrect medical procedures will be performed by the end of the day today.
15 entries in Webster’s Third New International Dictionary of the English Language will turn out to be misspelled.
Read – 1 Corinthians 10:31
~ Source: Insight Syncrude Canada Ltd., Communications Division.
A member of Alcoholics Anonymous once sent columnist Ann Landers the following:
We drank for happiness and became unhappy.
We drank for joy and became miserable.
We drank for sociability and became argumentative.
We drank for sophistication and became obnoxious.
We drank for friendship and made enemies.
We drank for sleep and awakened without rest.
We drank for strength and felt weak.
We drank “medicinally” and acquired health problems.
We drank for relaxation and got the shakes.
We drank for bravery and became afraid.
We drank for confidence and became doubtful.
We drank to make conversation easier and slurred our speech.
We drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell.
We drank to forget and were forever haunted.
We drank for freedom and became slaves.
We drank to erase problems and saw them multiply.
We drank to cope with life and invited death.
~ Bits & Pieces, May, 1990, p. 18.
The poet put it like this:
“Tomorrow” he promised his conscience,
Tomorrow I mean to believe.
Tomorrow I’ll think as I ought to,
Tomorrow the Saviour receive.
Tomorrow I’ll conquer the habits
That hold me from Heaven away
But ever his conscience repeated
One word, and one only–“Today!”
Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
Thus, day after day it went on
Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
‘Till youth like a vision had gone,
‘Till age and his passions had written
The message of fate on his brow,
And forth from the shadows came Death
With the pitiless syllable, “Now!”‘
~ Pastor David Leggee in “Sodom Similarities” sermon/ Preach the Word.
CAMELS BIBLE In 1832 an edition had Rebekah leaving her tent to meet Isaac with a group of – not damsels – but camels.
WIFE-HATER BIBLE An 1810 version read, “If any man come to me, and hate not . . . his own wife (instead of: life”), he cannot be my disciple.”
“SIN ON” BIBLE. The first English-language Bible to be printed in Ireland, in 1716, encouraged its readers to “sin on more” rather than “sin no more.” A similar error in 1653 had declared: “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall inherit the kingdom of God?”
THE WICKED BIBLE of 1631 reported the Seventh Commandment as “Thou shalt commit adultery,” a mistake that infuriated King Charles. He ordered all copies destroyed and fined all printers whose hands had touched the edition.
MURDERER’S BIBLE. This 19th-century faux pas had Mark 7:27 as “Let the children be killed” instead of “filled.”
PLACEMAKER BIBLE. a 16th Century printer had Jesus blessing the “place-makers” instead of “peacemakers.” An American printer later substituted the “Parable of the Vinegar” for the “Vineyard.”
PRINTERS Bible. Perhaps King David was on target in a 1702 edition, which quoted him as saying “Printers (instead of “princes”) have persecuted me without cause.
~ Source Unknown
If all the lazy folks will get up,
And all the sleeping folks will wake up,
And all the discouraged folks will cheer up,
And all gossiping folks will shut up,
And all the dishonest folks will confess up,
And all the estranged folks will make up,
And all the disgusted folks will sweeten up,
And all the lukewarm folks will fire up,
And all the dry bones will shape up,
And all the sanctified folks will show up,
And all the leading folks will pay up,
And all the true soldiers will stand up,
Then, and only then, we have a good church!
We’re going to wake up, pray up, sing up, teach up, stay up,
and never give up, back up, or shut up until the cause of Christ is built up.
~ Apostolic Light News
God won’t ask what kind of fancy car you drove.
He will ask how many people you took to church who didn’t have transportation.
God won’t ask the square footage of your house.
He will ask how many people you helped who didn’t have a house.
God won’t ask how many fancy clothes you had in your closet.
He will ask how many of those clothes you gave away to the Salvation Army.
God won’t ask what social class you were in.
He will ask what kind of “class” you displayed.
God won’t ask how many material possessions you had.
He will ask whether those material possessions dictated your life.
God won’t ask you what your highest salary was.
He will ask if you trampled over any people to obtain that salary.
God won’t ask how much overtime you worked.
He will ask if you worked overtime for your family.
God won’t ask how many promotions you received.
He will ask what you did to promote others.
God won’t ask what your job title was.
He will ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.
God won’t ask how many promotions you took to chase a dollar bill.
He will ask how many promotions you refused to advance your family’s quality of life.
God won’t ask how many degrees you had.
He will ask how many people you thanked for helping you earn those degrees.
God won’t ask what you did to help yourself.
He will ask what you did to help others.
God won’t ask how many friends you had.
He will ask how many people you were a friend to.
God won’t ask what you did to protect your rights.
He will ask you what you did to protect the rights of others.
God won’t ask what neighbourhood you lived in.
He will ask how many other neighbourhoods you visited.
God won’t ask about the colour of your skin.
He will ask about the colour of your heart.
~ Source: GIL1701@aol.com.
There are taller buildings… but shorter tempers;
Wider freeways… but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more… but have less;
We buy more… but enjoy it less.
We have bigger houses… and smaller families;
More conveniences… but less time.
We have more degrees… but less sense;
More knowledge… but less judgment;
More experts… but more problems;
More medicine… but less wellness.
We have multiplied our possessions… but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom… and hate too often.
We have learned how to make a living… but not a life.
We’ve added years to life… but not life to years.
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back…
But we have difficulty crossing the street to meet the neighbours.
We’ve conquered outer space… but not our inner space.
We’ve cleaned the air… but polluted the soul.
We have split the atom… but not our prejudice.
We have higher incomes… but lower morals.
We’ve become long on quantity… but short on quality.
These are the times of tall men… and short character;
Of steep profits… and shallow relationships.
These are times of world peace… but domestic warfare.
These are days of more leisure… but less fun;
Of more kinds of food… but less nutrition.
These are days of two incomes… but more divorce;
Of fancier houses… but broken homes.
We can choose to ignore these sad facts of life…
Or we can choose to make a difference.
Christ has no body on earth but ours,
He has no hands but our hands…
We have only one life, which soon will pass,
And those acts we perform for Christ are the only that will last!
We must sacrifice ourselves for souls!
~ Author Unknown
I met God in the morning,
When my day was at its best
And His presence came like sunrise,
Like a glory in my breast.
All day long the Presence lingered;
All day long He stayed with me;
And we sailed in perfect calmness
O’er a very troubled sea.
Other ships were blown and battered,
Other ships were sore distressed,
But the winds that seemed to drive them
Brought to us a peace and rest.
Then I thought of other mornings,
With a keen remorse of mind.
When I too had loosed the moorings
With the Presence left behind.
So, I think I know the secret,
Learned from many a troubled way;
You must seek Him in the morning
If you want Him through the day.
~ Author Unknown
Heavenly Father, we come before You today to ask Your forgiveness and seek Your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, “Woe to those who call evil good,” but that’s exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and inverted our values. We confess that…
…We have ridiculed the absolute truth of Your Word and called it pluralism;
…We have worshipped other gods and called it multi-culturalism;
…We have endorsed perversion and called it an alternative lifestyle;
…We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery;
…We have neglected the needy and called it self-preservation;
…We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare;
…We have killed our unborn and called it choice;
…We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable;
…We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self- esteem;
…We have abused power and called it political savvy;
…We have coveted our neighbor’s possessions and called it ambition;
…We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression;
…We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.
Search us, O God, and know our hearts today; try us and see if there be some wicked way in us; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Guide and bless these men and women who have been sent here by the people of Kansas, and who have been ordained by You, to govern this great state. Grant them Your wisdom to rule and may their decisions direct us to the center of Your will. I ask it in the name of Your Son, the Living Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.
~ Pastor Joe Wright’s prayer when asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate.
Failure does not mean you are a failure,
It does mean you have not succeeded yet.
Failure does not mean you have accomplished nothing,
It does mean you have learnt something.
Failure does not mean you have been a fool,
It does mean you have a lot of faith.
Failure does not mean you have been disgraced,
It does mean you are willing to try.
Failure does not mean you do not have it,
It does mean you have to do something in a different way.
Failure does not mean you are inferior,
It does mean you are not perfect.
Failure does not mean you have wasted your life,
It does mean you have to start afresh.
Failure does not mean you should give up,
It does mean you must try harder.
Failure does not mean you will never make it,
It does mean it will take a little longer.
Failure does not mean God has abandoned you,
It does mean God has a better idea.
Obedience is seeking God with your whole heart.
Performance is having a quiet time because you’ll feel guilty if you don’t.
Obedience is finding ways to let the word of God dwell in you richly.
Performance is quickly scanning a passage so you can check it off your Bible-reading plan.
Obedience is inviting guests to your home for dinner.
Performance is feeling anxious about whether every detail of the meal will be perfect.
Obedience is following God’s prompting to start a small group, Bible study or relationship.
Performance is reluctance to let anyone else lead the group because they might not do it well as you would.
Obedience is doing your best.
Performance is wanting to be the best.
Obedience is saying yes to whatever God asks of you.
Performance is saying yes to whatever people ask of you.
Obedience is following the promptings of God’s Spirit.
Performance is following a list of man-made requirements.
Obedience springs from a fear of God.
Performance springs from a fear of failure.
~ Author Unknown.
Sin SEPARATES you from God.
Sin SADDENS you.
Sin SCARS you.
Sin SOURS you.
Sin SICKENS you.
Sin SEARS you.
Sin STEALS from you.
Sin SENDS you to hell.
~ P. Upender
It is not what we eat
but what we digest
that makes us strong,
not what we gain
but what we save
that makes us rich,
not what we read
but what we remember
that makes us learned,
and not what we profess
but what we practice
that makes us Christians
~ Author Unknown.
The Word of God
for the good of men
and for the glory of God.
~ P. Upender
Life before marriage is AIRTEL – “You can express yourself.”
After marriage is RELIANCE – “Always get in touch.”
After honeymoon is HUTCH – “Wherever you go your wife network follows.”
After one-year life is IDEA – “Your wife can change your life.”
After 7 years life is BSNL – “Subscriber is not available.”
~ Courtesy : Rajnikant.
We sing ‘Sweet hour of prayer’ and are content with 5-10 minutes a day.
We sing ‘Onward Christian soldiers’ and wait to be drafted into his service.
We sing ‘O for a thousand tongues to sing’ and don’t use the one we have.
We sing ‘There shall be showers of blessing’ but do not come when it rains.
We sing ‘Blest be the tie that binds’ and let the least offence sever it.
We sing ‘Serve the Lord with gladness’ and gripe about all we have to do.
We sing ‘I love to tell the story’ and never mention it at all.
We sing ‘We’re marching to Zion’ but fail to march to worship or school.
We sing ‘Cast thy burden on the Lord’ and worry ourselves into nervous breakdown.
We sing ‘The whole wide world for Jesus’ and never invite our next-door neighbor.
We sing ‘O day of rest and gladness’ and wear ourselves on traveling, cutting grass or playing golf on Sunday.
We sing ‘Throw out the lifeline’ and content ourselves with throwing out a fishing line.
~ Author Unknown